1. We'd forgotten who she is.
2. We'll never get that time back.
3. Watching paint dry is fun by comparison.
4. We wasted our money on Netflix.
5. We'd forgotten who who is?
image from pixabay
top of page
Search
Horror writer Stephen King has written an unexpected sequel to his 1970s hit “Carrie”.
Entitled “Meghan”, it tells the tale of a needy and vulnerable young woman who finally snaps when pushed beyond her limits.
For most of the book, we’re encouraged to hope things will turn out well for her, as she presents an aspirational lifestyle show about her life in the exclusive California enclave of Montecito, alongside some ginger git who bumbles around in the background looking confused, but in the end just goes along with whatever the hell she’s doing now.
However, the third act climax comes when she reads online reviews and comments, finding the show hasn’t brought her the acceptance she craves, just more mockery and humiliation.
Bewildered and enraged, Meghan rampages through the organic delis and traditional craft markets of Montecito, snapping the pencil-thin necks of anorexic women with whom she was only yesterday sharing recipes for a refreshing and wholesome quinoa salad.
The final scene has her drenched from head to foot in macrobiotic goji berry smoothie, beating ladies who lunch to death with an authentic Shaker-style kitchen chair (very reasonably priced at only US$35,000).
Negotiations over possibly turning the book into a movie were interrupted by Meghan herself, who “just wanted to be proactive” in letting the producers know she’d be available to play herself.
”After all, I’ve gotta find something to do with my time. You think keeping bees and serving mimosas for brunch every day is really that fulfilling?”
image from pixabay
This morning the Prime Minster announced that Danny Dyer will be joining his US trade negotiating team. Starmer said “In films Danny Dyer has proved himself adept at working in environments populated by poorly educated sociopaths, therefore Trump’s Whitehouse should be easy for him to deal with.”
Sir Keir went on, “Negotiating with them won’t be easy though, they are a very tough, but no tougher than the Millwall were outside the Bell-End Pub, and besides JD Vance is not expected to be tooled up, other than by carrying a laptop.” Danny Dyer has been warned in advance not to offer 'marching powder' during the discussions because Trump doesn’t do drugs and Sir Keir has very limited nasal passageways.
image from pixabay
www,newsbiscuit.com
bottom of page