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Your moggy has made enough rat sacrifices to summon Cat God.

Writer: NewsBiscuitNewsBiscuit



Unbeknownst to you, your cat has accumulated enough dead woodland folk, to make a portal through to 2,000 BC.  What may have seemed like an indiscriminate murder-spree was, in fact, an elaborate series of blood sacrifices to summon Bast and all her furry minions.


Bast is best remembered as a fertility Goddess, but what is less well known is her power over can-openers. Asked why your cat also stole your calamari supper and then shat on your duvet, she replied: ‘Yeah, that time, I was trying to summon Cthulhu’.







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