You’re a suspicious bastard. There’s a DHL delivery guy actually crying because his van is full of things which you haven’t arranged collection of. Just click the link, dumbo! It’s probably gifts from an anonymous admirer.
Numerous Nigerian princes have died never knowing that there was no way to repatriate their fortune because of your – what? Xenophobia? Racism? We’re one big world my friend, don’t let your prejudices get in the way. Their nephews even write IN CAPITAL LETTERS to assure you of their sincerity – but still you turn your back on them.
Your – frankly, quite average - penis could be truly massive if only you could be bothered to click a little ad and send a few bank details. Speaking of which, hot women in your area are still lonely – think what a difference you could have made with your improved todger.
All this misery is because of your fears. Yes, you read that right – you’re afraid. Embrace life. Earn that Nigerian fortune. Sleep with beautiful yet unaccountably lonely women in your area, confident that your man sausage won’t be embarrassing. Just sign up for my course and soon you’ll be saying YES to a brighter future. All it takes is a little trust and some payment information.
Rishi Sunak
Image: useche70 - Pixabay