As winter approaches, fashion guidance suggests that a baggy jumper is the best way to appear thin. Under the pretext of staying warm, we can maintain the illusion of a gym body – beneath a big ball of wool.
Said one person: ‘Wearing a garish bobble hat, one size too big for my head, completely drew focus from the fact my arse was three sizes too big for my body’. Another remarked: ‘Everyone says I’ve layered-up, they just don’t realise most of those layers are made of lard’.
Summer will present I dilemma, as no one wears mittens in June, but the suggestion is we paint ourselves red and pretend to be a beach ball.
