What do your kitchen appliances think about you?

A recent survey of kitchen appliances across the UK has revealed that many are dissatisfied with their working environment.

We visited the kitchen of Liam Moore, a 35-year-old social media manager from Basildon. Liam’s washing machine told us, 'The laundry he puts inside me is disgusting! His underwear always has skiddies on BOTH sides, thanks to his habit of turning them inside out to get two days' wear out of them. His socks smell revolting, and I try not to wonder why sometimes one of them is so stiff and crusty! And it’s not my fault all his t-shirts end up baggy and faded after only one wash – it’s because he never buys any decent clothes, it’s all cheap tat from Primark.'

Liam’s fridge complained, 'I do my best to keep his food fresh, but he leaves stuff on my shelves for months past its use-by date. And there’s never anything healthy. I don’t think I’ve seen a single fruit or vegetable in all the years I’ve been here. The only green thing inside me is mould. I’ve got a salad crisping drawer, but he uses that to keep beer in.'

Liam’s oven was also unhappy. 'I don’t know why he insisted on buying the same cooker he saw in Jamie Oliver’s kitchen on the telly, when he only ever uses me to cook frozen pizza. I feel so unfulfilled! And it’s the same for the microwave, he only uses that to heat up last night’s leftover takeaway curry for his breakfast.'

We also approached Liam’s bathroom appliances for comment, but his shower merely spluttered, 'I’ve seen some awful things!' before bursting into tears, and his toilet was too traumatised to even speak.

Picture credit: Wix AI