top of page
Writer's pictureNewsBiscuit

Wes Streeting tells your Dad to remarry at your Mom's funeral.



Never one to miss an opportunity or respect a mourning period, the MP for Ilford North was full of bright suggestions for the defeated Labour Party; including a handy list of potential leaders; such as Tony Blair, Anthony Blair and Anthony Charles Lynton Blair. He explained it was time the party moved on and started to see other voters, a better class of voters. 


Confused Labour activists were concerned that the corpse of Jeremy Corbyn was barely cold, but Wes said that an autopsy was the perfect time to update your Tinder profile.  A smirking spokesman read out a statement: ‘Obviously I’m utterly saddened by this election loss and – ha – sorry – ha - I just can’t keep a straight face. Corbyn lost. He lost.  Fan-bloody-tastic. In your face. Your beardy face. And the face of all those dreadful trots and lefty muggles. Ha, I say. Ha. Oh, and um - blah, blah, blah, deepest regret.’




If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?























11 views
bottom of page