Documents recently declassified under the 30 year rule have shed new light on the struggles of the codebreakers at Bletchley Park to break the German military ciphers during World War Two.
“We used to think they were using some kind of dastardly machine, with rotors and plugboards and whatnot,” explained Wing Commander Farquarson of the Fleet Air Arm, “making it impossible to crack their codes unless we knew the exact position of every moving part on a given day.
“The truth turns out to be even more fiendish - they were communicating with each other in German.
“I mean, just look at it,” he said, pointing to an intercepted Wehrmacht communique. “At least ‘Haus’ and ‘Freund’ are vaguely similar to the proper English words, but most of it’s complete gibberish. I mean, ‘abgeschossen’ for goodness sake. It’s like they’re not even trying.
“And look here - ‘Wehrmachtsangelegenheiten’. Leaving out the spaces between the words just isn’t cricket. And don’t get me started on those silly dots they put above the vowels sometimes.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” added Group Captain Hawkins, puffing on his pipe. “Went there once with the old ball and chain. Impossible to get a decent roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, the carrots weren’t boiled anywhere near long enough and the beer wasn’t even close to warm.”