As wildfires continue to break out, the public have turned to the weather as their main source of verbal entropy. The NHS has warned sunbathers to avoid prolonged exposure to conversations about the strength of their sun lotion. Reaching for the 'Thesaurus of Boredom', citizens are desperately searching for new and varied ways to describe the same sweaty sensation.
However, it’s not all bad news, as those with heat stroke will now have an anecdote that will significantly outlast their peeling. Marriages that have barely functioned for years, on a series of audible grunts and the shared fear of loneliness, have been rejuvenated with witty repartee; including such nuggets as 'isn't it hot?' and the classic 'have you watered the geraniums?' Complained one gardener: 'I can tolerate a hosepipe ban, if it's accompanied by a ban on talking about hosepipes.'
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