A warm bank in Crewe was raided yesterday lunchtime. The robber got away with three degrees and a defrosted fishfinger. The heat say they are on the lookout for a villainous elderly lady appearing snug, or possibly a cat.
Chief Inspector Frank Thermometer of South Cheshire Heat said, 'The families of all those who have been left a bit chilly have been informed, and we're calling in a specialist officer from Warmingham to cool down the situation.
'This is a concerning development. We don't have the budget to deal with this new sort of high tech crime. Our concern is that there may be copycat heists, and we just don't have the resources to provide blanket coverage.
'At this time, we are pursuing a lead connected to an establishment in the area which we have learned is known as a "Hot L".
'Our advice to warm banks is to keep your warmth locked in a safe, or if you don't have one, some sort of secure box.
'The public should remain calm, mostly because we can't tell the difference between people shaking with fear or shivering from cold.'
'Right, I'm off back to my lovely toastie station for a special measure.'
image from pixabay
Hat tip to myke