The government has added to its list of lifestyle choices it wants to stop, after successfully making providing flimsy shelter to homeless people in winter an offence.
'Walking around London carrying placards expressing concern for people being bombed and shot is clearly a lifestyle choice, and therefore will be banned,' said a government spokesman.
He listed drowning at sea as an acceptable lifestyle choice, while surviving drowning at sea as a clearly unacceptable lifestyle choice. 'We're not going to ban every lifestyle choice - we're not monsters,' he said.
'Well. maybe Suella is,' he added.