Caught up in a ‘votes for food’ scandal, the Birmingham MP has been found to have offered treats for votes. Said one constituent: ‘I was worried that in taking a foodbank voucher I would be expected to pay Jess back in some way. But she insisted it was entirely ethical, which is why she has kidnapped my children, just in case I forget who to vote for in the local elections.’ Ironically a more effective scheme to motivate voters was adopted by Jess’ best friend, Jacob Rees Mogg, who simply took away food in exchange for…well, he just took away food.
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