A report published by the Institute of Making It Rain (IMIR) has found that praying for the heavens to open is six times less effective than conducting a well choreographed rain dance.
'This is a huge breakthrough and a very important finding,' said Melvin Cloudjuice, Head of IMIR and Director of the completely unconnected Think Water Tank (TWaT) which commissioned the £55 million study.
'Imagine you are surrounded by encroaching forest fires during a heatwave and you really need it to precipitate cats and dogs right soon. Well, thanks to our groundbreaking work, you now know the more effective action to take.
'While I'm here, I would just like to say that the WTT (Water Think Tank) across the corridor here at 55 Tufton Street are very childish, and we refute their claims that we are all our acronym. We are sick and tired of being the butt of their jokes.'
Religious groups have condemned the findings as 'scientific'.
God sighed and said, 'Sometimes, it's like I just don't exist.'