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Writer's pictureSteveb

'I'm really competitive' says friend urinating through your letterbox


A friend who says 'I'm really competitive' as an excuse to for being a complete d!ck to everyone you know, isn't competitive enough to seek help.



Although she was on the British Olympic team when she was 14, has a high paying job, and uses the Oxford comma, she still has a compulsion to belittle everyone she meets, and tells other people's children her children are better than them.



But it's OK because she is a valued member of society who drives the biggest SUV on the estate. Being an utter rsehole has become normalised because every oil company in the world pays seven figures for 'highly competitive people' to greenwash the fck out of their scorched Earth policies, and still be allowed out in public.



Now you come to think of it, she has never bought a round at the overpriced wine bar she drags everyone to.



'How far did my wee go?'


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