Video footage of a church spire being toppled has left the residents of Wells in a state of extreme panic. In the 2007 film classic Hot Fuzz, a church spire is toppled, its pointy bit falling straight through the top of local news reporter Tim Messenger's head, crushing him in one of the film world's most gruesome deaths ever depicted. In a staggering coincidence, the fictional town of Sandford - where most of the events of the movie take place - was filmed in Wells.
The good people of the smallest city in England are petrified that further events from the film may now occur. The only resident still able to speak, Lou Stringer, said, 'The NWA are somewhat unsettled as only yesterday a swan went missing, and last week a living statue was slagged off. We are now bracing for the destruction of a supermarket, a gunfight in the city square, and crusty jugglers.'
Local police are understood to be too busy to investigate reports of a fascist being checked in to a hotel by a hag, as they are currently gobbling down a large tub of Chunky Monkey and three Cornettos.
Cate Blanchett commented, but only to say, 'I'm not Janine.'
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