Anyone over 21 will participate in a ‘Carrousel of Death’ – or as the Education Secretary describes it a ‘career’s day’ – and all graduates will be vaporized to avoid the disappointment of low-wage gig-economy.
Appealing to young voters, he promised a hedonistic childhood, a Utopian State Education, all followed by a laser beam to the forehead. Anyone attending a Grammar school will be given a ‘life-clock’ crystal in the palm of their hand, while anyone attending a Secondary Modern will be given one minute to put their affairs in order.
Under the slogan ‘Student death is the best way of avoiding student debt’, graduates have a bright, but remarkably brief future. A spokeswoman explained: ‘Sixteen years of ‘free’ education is a pretty good innings, but all good things come to an end – or in this case, state-sponsored euthanasia.’
She denied that he had plagiarized the plot of Logan’s Run, said the spokeswoman: ‘Yes, the students will be killed, but their physical remains will be turned into protein shakes – and that’s the plot of ‘Soylent Green’.’
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