UK to fiercely boycott American spellings of words

With the limited options available to UK consumers trying to avoid US goods, an alternative boycott is required that packs a real punch. This is because most US products are either heavily involved with local UK suppliers, like fast foods, or are just a bit rubbish anyway like their cars and mass-produced beer which are easily avoided at no great loss.

One clear method to completely destroy American influence and bring the failed ex-colony to its knees is to ensure that their sad attempt at the English language is not used at all. UK residents will ensure when writing, ALL the correct vowels will be used. You should be involved, literally, U should be involved in coloUr, flavoUr, humoUr etc. The spelling of words is not a grey area, and gray is not a word.

A petition is to be sent to the government to ban the language option “English (United States”) from all software applications. The letter Zed, as in ZEBra, not Tseeebraahh or whatever they say, is not to be used as a knock off S in many words, people need to organiSe and analySe their dialogue and recogniSe how marvellous it is. The UK is quite clear in which words to use and will unashamedly call a pavement a pavement. 

Car parts will be referred to correctly, and unless it is hydrogen, gas shall not be used to power cars. When speaking, they will purposely enunciate the H in herbs, and aluminium shall be said and spelled properly and not be bought from America. Anyone saying “like” more than twice in any sentence will be booed. Do not say donut, just don’t, they are made of dough, not do, so doughnut it is, clear?

It won’t be long until America is begging for a trade deal on UK terms, which will then be politely, yet firmly, declined as we will at one with our long-term trading allies in Europe, who we have never fallen out with.

Image: Pixabay/geralt

Hat-tips to various in NB chat room