UEFA - the European branch of messing things up in football - have squeaked through to the Grand Fiasco Final of sports governing bodies. Unable to find anyone in-house capable of putting 16 balls in the right bowls, they called in a specialist contractor to handle the complexities. Unfortunately, UEFA also couldn't find and overpay a specialist contractor to pull that off for them either.
FIA - in charge of mucking up the rearrangement of fastest brumbrums in order of prettiest colours - had already won their place after a season finale masterclass of chaotic collapse. Changing their minds about shuffling formula one cars around eleventeen times in the space of a couple of minutes based predominantly on who shrieked the loudest at them, sealed their route to the final.
The form book shows that FIA are favourites, having demonstrated consistency in inconsistency throughout the Formula 1 season, ramping it right up towards the end. But as any sports fan knows, when it comes to pulling out all of the incompetence stops, UEFA have a sparkling history of bungling at the highest levels when it really counts.
Tune in to watch this epic final as both teams turn up to the wrong venues.
