Taxi drivers up and down the land have become outraged by the influx of foreign PPE, preventing good, honest Brits from developing the Coronavirus. Truckloads of gowns have been sneaking over the Scottish border, disguised as kilts. Complained one driver: ‘It’s outrageous all these cheap surgical masks coming over here, just to get their rubber gloves on our women.’
Four hundred thousand gowns were expected to arrive from Turkey, all pretending to be political refugees. A Health Minister advised: ‘Just because we stopped making gowns doesn’t mean we want foreign-smelling gowns in our operating theatres. If NHS staff want to protect themselves from the virus, all they need to do is drape themselves in a Union Jack flag. Technically it won’t stop them dying but it will make their funeral more patriotic looking.’
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