If elected, former President and future inmate Donald Trump has said he will give Alaska back to Russia 'just to be on the safe side'
In all caps Trump boomed 'I will end the war in Ukraine in 24 hours, by giving Alaska to my good friend Vladimir Putin - and absolutely anything else he wants. He definitely doesn't have a dossier of compromising material about me that's the size of Washington state. That's a good idea, let's give him Washington state. Maybe Oregon too. Does he want California? Sure, give him California. Give him Georgia too... What do you mean he's already got one? OK, how about we give him New Mexico? And make Old Mexico pay for it.'
'If I get convicted of an even number of crimes, they cancel each other out. Let's make Russia Great Again.'