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Writer's pictureRobowurzel

Trump’s Christmas Bargain Hunt



President-to-be Trump has hit the headlines yet again regarding his proposals for the US to take over Greenland and the Panama Canal.


However a Newsbiscuit exclusive can reveal that Trump has set his sights much further afield.


It is understood that negotiations are well advanced for the Isle of Wight to become the 51st State. Already plans are being drawn up for the western side to become the world’s largest ICBM base, the eastern side a 18000 hole golf course. Subject of course to planning permission - which is thought to be a formality.


To plug another gap in America’s strategic defences, it is believed that the purchase of the Tiverton Canal is nearly finalised, and a deposit paid. Once Trump is inaugurated the canal will be dismantled and moved to the USA / Mexico border as the ultimate deterrent to stop illegal immigration.




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