Donald Trump has announced plans to buy Basingstoke as part of his attempt to control the world. In a surprise development, the newly installed American president said the market town in Hampshire was top of his list when it comes to global domination.
“Look guys, I know Canada and Greenland are great but I really want to make Based In Stoke our 51st state”, he told a press conference in Washington. “Sorry for the rhyme there. But it bigly works, yes?”
The reasons for Trump’s proposed acquisition are unclear but there have been rumours of oil reserves beneath the Festival Place shopping centre for decades and as part of his campaign, Trump is giving away free “MBGA” caps in the town's high street.
“I'll bring in a golden age for Base Dins Toke ,” said Trump.
“There are very good people on each side. Let me buy it and I’ll do my stupid dancing where I look like a jack-in-a-box on acid.”
Image: geralt - Pixabay