International best-selling magazine Total Corruption, which explains how to turn your democracy into an overtly venal society in just 6,000 easy instalments, has reported quarterly profits of $14 trillion Dollars.
The exclusive subscription-based publication which used to be a monthly circular is now available to sharks, hoodlums, organised crime, high finance, and democratic governments as an hourly magazine.
84% of countries now operate entirely based on the easy-to-follow guidelines, since the populist article 'Just Lie To Their Faces' broke down barriers to shady unscrupulousness, turning standard manipulation practices into overt sleaze overnight.
Gordon Grifter, Chief Editor for Falsification, Doctoring, Alteration, Fudging, Adulteration, Debasement, Degradation and Abuse at the magazine said, 'Any country or entity using its tax income to subvert societal culture will be well aware of our world infamous Seven 'D's Mantra: Dishonesty, Deceit, Deception, Duplicity and Double-Dealing.
'However, I can now reveal exclusively that a specialist online sister publication kept crookedly behind an extortionate paywall will be launched tomorrow. We have a whole new look and feel, inspired by delinquency, palm-greasing, subornation, profiteering, malfeasance, misfeasance and malversation.
'To the good people of the world, I say this: there are 667 words for corruption, but only one for integrity. And we've just bribed all of the dictionaries of the world to have integrity removed.'