In a last ditch ploy to salvage Thursday’s by-elections, Rishi Sunak has promised to send a convoy of milk floats loaded with empty bottles to Italy, so they can return filled with warm air.
Under the plan, these will be handed out to everyone who can prove they voted Tory. Voters who wish to take advantage of the scheme will merely have to take a photograph of their completed ballot paper to show to the Tory campaign team member tasked with distributing the bottles of warm air.
The National Union of Milkmen is urging its members not to participate, however milkman Dave Simmonds said 'It’s the only chance of a trip abroad I’m likely to get this year, so I won’t be doing what the union wants.'
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/garten-gg-201217/