Tories under pressure to "keep scandals fresh"

T

he government has admitted they feel under some pressure to maintain the high standard of scandals that the public have come to expect.

A Downing Street spokesman explained, "Corruption, indifference, sex, incompetence, porn, it feels like we've done everything, so we've set up a committee to plan the next one. It will be chaired by Chris Grayling. Ah."