Senior Tory MPs have claimed to be working extremely hard on Islamophobia.
One said 'There's no shortcut to success. I've spent 10,000 hours hating Muslims thanks to a solid diet of Daily Mail and Express articles. Sometimes even the comments sections. Now I'm not just a bigot, I'm a world class bigot!'
A second chimed in 'The only manufacturing sector we want to encourage is outrage. My constituency is a no-go area with Sharia law. Well, there might be a kebab shop opening anyway. And the area's racial make up is whiter than a Klan rally.'
A third stared into the distance before slamming his drink down dramatically. He growled 'I've served in the Culture Wars. Seen things you civilians can't imagine. Whipping people into a frenzy of irrational Islamophobia is the Conservatives only hope of winning the next election! '