Fine upstanding member of the community Tommy Robinson, imprisoned just for repeating a libelous allegation that had been ruled against previously, believes he will be released early under Labour's imaginative approach to imprisonment. 'Quite frankly, we're amazed he wasn't released as he reached the jail front entrance for time served in five-star hotels in Cyprus,' said a spokesman for Mr Robinson.
Tommy had fully expected to defend himself to the hilt and his supporters had donated millions of their hard-earned benefits to give him the chance to do so with expensive lawyers, fast cars, champagne bottles as befits a working-class man but instead decided to bank the donations and 'do some time' while it earns a nice bit of tax-free interest. 'If Keir can see his way to providing a nice 18-month reduction in his sentence it would be appreciate,' said the spokesman before kicking holy sh!t out of a group of reporters.