Under the terms of the American Revolutionary War, the US must revert to having a royal family and in the absence of King George III, they must make their own feline-based monarchy. Joe Exotic, aka ‘Tiger King’, is technically next to ascend the throne, despite serving a 22-year jail sentence – ten more years than Donald Trump was due to get.
The real last ‘King’ the US had was Elvis who died in 1977 and whose elder brother, Martin Luther, was assassinated in 1968. Sadly, Billie Jean King cannot inherit as she is female; an irony not lost on a campaigner for women’s equal rights.
As a mulleted, gun-toting polygamist, Joe is seen as a moderate choice for President. Said a friend: ‘Trump boasted of grabbing pussy but as Joe will tell you, that’s no way to handle a big cat. Joe may have been convicted of 17 federal charges, but he can bring something new to the Presidency – dignity.’
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