A lorry full of high quality wigs has been stolen, with police claiming a connection with the recent thefts of 22 tonnes of cheddar and 2,500 pies.
‘The thieves are stealing to order,’ commented the detective in charge of a unit set-up to tackle these crimes. ‘It’s a win-win for them. Wigs, cheese and pies all have a monetary value on the black market in themselves, but the value to any aspiring comedy writer is inestimable. We receive more puns than we do tip-offs.’
The detective confirmed they were receiving a number of reports concerning stolen Christmas trees. And requested any victims reporting such crimes, to please refrain from enquiring if it has the police stumped.