A new scientific study reports that horses can plan ahead and think logically. The leisurely study was done at a canter. Accordingly your intrepid Newsbiscuit reporter has investigated, interviewing Dobbin – a spokeshorse for NEMOS – the National Equine Management and Operatives Society.
'To be honest, although things were okay, an increasing large herd of us were getting bored doing the same old things – such as riding around and around in circles with a midget on our back. No wonder Shergar done a runner. Mind you we were not enthused about the rumpus regarding the recent equestrian training 'scandal'. Plenty of Tory MPs would pay good money for a bit of S & M like being whipped by a woman wearing leather boots.'
'Unfortunately our planning and logical thinking automatically rules us out of certain professions – such as politics and TV sports reporting.'
'We will also not work in pantomime - or in a glue factory.'
'Anyway we’ll still be happy as long as we still get our oats – know what I mean? Keep the hay flowing and no-one will be writing 'Red Rum' in blood on the walls. Why the long face? I trust this will be a fair and balanced interview – you don’t want to wake up in bed with my head next to you, do you??'
Dobbin terminated the interview suddenly, saying 'I've got to be in Newmarket by 4.15.'
Image: Wix AI