Donald Trump will be allowed to compete on the upcoming series of Love Island, after the US Supreme Court ruled that Trump is immune from justice as well as to STDs probably, given he's still alive after all the porn stars.
In a hastily deleted social media post, Trump wrote 'Love Island, but not as much as I love the flag of Liberia or Australia or whatever I think the flag of America looks like.'
'One woman, she said to me... tears in her eyes... she said I have the body of a chiselled Greek God. Just imagine my mostly nude, rippling body - maybe some golden budgie smugglers - maybe not - running on the beach, bouncing in slow motion like the Baywatch credits. Really think about it.'
'Like me, there will be a few "fun" racists and misogynists on there. Women? I'll grab them by the... well, what I'll grab them by is already a matter of public record.'
'I will miss my current wife E Jean Pelosi or Kamala Haley or whoever it is. I will also miss my children... that I know of... right guys? They know what I'm talking about. No, I'm joking. I won't miss my children at all. Except for my daughter Ivana, if you know what I mean.'
'Once I have finished claiming Love Island for Russia - I mean America - or do I? - I look forward to defeating the failing Barack Clinton in November and going full Handmaid's Tale.'
image from pixabay