Druids, hippies and other essential workers have reacted with dismay after the government postponed summer solstice until November.
A government spokesman explained, 'Summer is a really difficult time for such a major festival; many staff are away for their summer breaks. It greatly simplifies traffic management to move the date until a much quieter time of year. In addition, I thought that druids would welcome not having to get up at 3 O'clock in the morning.
Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg, who was recently knighted for disservice to the Realm, criticised the delay. 'I've always abhorred civil servants having any kind of holiday,' said Rees-Mogg's absent shadow. 'But if they do insist on it, why don't they simply buy a holiday home or two in the southern hemisphere so they've got somewhere warm to pop off to?'