"The PM ambled around some village he'd never heard of in Cornwall last week with Charles by his side, and now he says he wants a dozen towns built according to his designs," a Labour party chatbot told reporters.
"I'm not sure why Keir's being such an embarrassing suck-up about this," the bot continued. "He's already got a knighthood. Maybe he wants a peerage. Or perhaps he wants to be invited to a few more banquets at Windsor Castle. Who knows?"
"Labour's embarrassed? We're embarrassed!" said a Palace spokes-flunkey. "Attlee, Wilson, Starmer... they all start off as young firebrand socialists who want to rip down the monarchy and set up a workers' republic.
"Then they set one foot inside Buck House and turn into utter creeps.
"Anyway, the king doesn't design towns. He's too dim for that. His real talent is wandering around Britain peering at pieces of modern architecture with a pained expression on his face and saying 'it really is appalling'.
"Keir is warning Labour local councillors that if they try any funny business like refusing planning permission for the new royal towns, he'll have them deselected, Diane Abbott-style," said the party chatbot.
"And to be extra creepy to Charles, he might also have them prosecuted for treason."