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Writer's pictureWrenfoe

Starmer pledges to inspect all wallets


Following on from his failure to deliver on previous promises, commitments, vows, oaths and sacred words, the PM has decided 'pledges' are the next best thing to break. Infamous for doing a 180 before he has even left the driveway, Mr. Starmer's word is not worth the paper it is written on - which is partly because the paper is rice and the word is in invisible ink.



He said on Scout's Honour, this time it would be different. Which is what he said the last ten times. Looking straight to camera and with fingers crossed, he insisted his 12 inch wooden nose was just an allergic reaction - to truth.



His legal background meant he had an unswerving commitment to people's freedom - particularly if your name was Jimmy Saville. He then made an earnest undertaking to never deceive the public or exaggerate, 120% guaranteed.


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