Despite criticism that he should stop taking bribes, Sir Keir has doubled down on his sense of entitlement, by demanding a tithe on designer socks and his pick of the fairest maidens from every village. Referred to as the Bottomless Pit, Starmer has the endless appetite of Scooby Doo, with the avarice of Scrooge McDuck. He puts the hobby into lobbying.
One donor complained: 'He believes any expenses claim is an invitation to an all you can eat buffet. I'm paying so much out in bungs, it would be cheaper just to pay a wealth tax.'
The rapacious PM, said everything he did was within the rules - the very same rules, he helped write. He insisted a bribe was not a bribe if you declared it, in the same way an affair is not an affair, if you live stream it. An aide explained: 'When he said he was hungry for change, he meant loose change.'
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