Smash burgers to become invisible to the naked eye, confirm restaurants

The recent trend for ever-thinner cuts of burgers - known as smash burgers -  will continue until the point that the meat will no longer be visible to the human eye, pretentious restaurants and upmarket burger takeaways have confirmed. 

Smash burgers have become more and more popular over recent times with advocates claiming flatter, wider and crisper patties are way tastier than their traditional chunky counterparts, with rapid searing bringing out a burst of flavour. 

'Our famous smash burger is currently the thickness of a piece of paper', boasted Michael da Costa of the trendy Hoxton-based burger-joint Beef It Up. 'The cheese slice that goes with it is thicker than the burger. Its taste will blow your mind - as will the £38.50 we charge for it.'

'But that's still way to thick - burger lovers are missing out on so much flavour that comes with flattening out the burger as much as possible.' continued Da Costa.  We're launching a new burger next week which is actually thinner than a piece of hair. The burger is thin - but you can be reassured that by the fat bill of £65 you'll get for it at the end of the meal, I'm sure'.  

'Excitingly we're now working on a graphene burger, which is 10000 times thinner than a piece of gold leaf. Our expert chefs bond some of the electrons in carbon atoms with some gristly smashed up offcuts of beef. As well as the £1089 price tag, it comes in a brioche bun with a side of fries, oh, and a microscope so you can actually try and see the beef'.  

Image: Pixabay/This_is_engineering