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Writer's pictureSteveb

Slowly lowered banner of Liz Truss causes lettuce to flounce off stage


A lettuce attempting to promote its vacuous new book 10 Days 'Til The Rocket Goes Off was rudely mocked when a banner of Liz Truss slowly unfurled behind it.



'I should have the freedom to be in any manky salad I like,' sulked the lettuce, before exiting stage left, pursued by a giant rabbit.



But having more nous than a former short-tolerated leader of the UK, the lettuce returned, recognising that self-promotion is what it's all about. 'I suppose you've done me a great favour. Otherwise, this event wouldn't have been even a blip on anyone's radar. Thank you.'



Showing a modicum of character and displaying considerably more backbone than the amateur economy crasher, the lettuce continued, 'If you can't laugh at yourself, then you really shouldn't be in this game, right?



'Now, as I was saying, let me tell you about the time I outlasted - and indeed outperformed - a Prime Minister...'


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