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"See how much better it was under Tories?", insists liar


As the U.K saw sustained rioting and extremist violence over the weekend, mentally underpowered political pundits have sought to erroneously remind the nation how much better things were under the previous government with one quoted as saying "Sure, almost every metric for measuring quality of life saw a significant drop under Tory rule, but at least there wasn't rioting!"



In response, John Forshaw, along with almost everyone else who could mentally form accurate memories, advised "If you ignore the many riots that took place during Conservative's tenure, they raise a good point." 



Forshaw continued "If you use you hippocampus, you might also recall 14 years of near constant crotch-ups, humiliations both national and international along with a denseness of stupidity so over-whelming it almost caused the nation to collapse in on itself like like a black hole, albeit a black hole that couldn't be trusted with money."



Forshaw added "Obviously the current sustained campaign of fear and intimidation is not ideal, but if we just treat the rioters like 6 year olds they'll punch themselves out, eventually."



"Then like any crabby six year old, they go on the naughty step, which in this analogy is one of His Majesty's high security prisons."



Forshaw added "Then we can get back to Labour's relentlessly underwhelming leadership as opposed to the Tory's outright malicious rule."


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Soniya Singhania
Soniya Singhania
07 Αυγ

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