The skies over New Jersey have been filled with weaponized little helpers. Rather than a traditional sleigh, Santa has out-sourced his job to a branch of the Pentagon, with the codename - Slay Shells Sting, Are You Listening.
The drones are programmed to drop parcels down the chimney if you have been good, and Semtex if you have been naughty. Test runs have already been done in Gaza, but according to the CIA everyone was on the naughty list.
Americans were alarmed to see the drones, but not so alarmed as Rudolf, who only then found out he had been sacked - Xmas sacked. Said one General: 'Its lovely weather for a sleigh ride together for two, but it's also a perfectly clear sky for a surgical strike on your nearest and dearest. Come dasher, come dancer, come FIM-92 Stinger.'