The British public has agreed to make the ultimate sacrifice, by reenacting the Charge of the Light Brigade, but this time with masks and appropriate social distancing. Saving the PM from his own PR, every man, woman and child will valiantly lay down their lives, so Boris can lie about his lays.
By deflecting attention from the parties and infidelities, we will march on Moscow or all die in a futile gesture - whatever plays better in The Daily Mail. Commenting on this dead cat/bear, one General remarked: 'Into the valley of Death, rode the six hundred. Obviously six hundred is a lot but technically this is a work event'.