The Government is offering a £20,000 incentive bonus to any GP willing to tackle the medical problems of rural communities -including fleas, worms and incest. These pioneering doctors will be given extra training in how to deal with draining a putrid cat-bite abscess and how to stop villagers biting cats.
The Royal College of GPs said there is a serious shortage of staff willing to express a furry anal gland, unless it was part of a medical school initiation ritual. Said one reluctant GP: ‘My worry is that country living is all about village fetes and Wicker Men filled with jam. I’m not comfortable with a patient that will let you rub their belly in exchange for a bowl of doggy treats or a chance to sniff your posterior.’
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