Professor Clever-Cloggs from the Institute for Political Sanity has urged the public not to be alarmed by rumours that Larry, the Downing Street cat has died, at least until evidence of his death has been provided and a state funeral has been arranged.
He told Newsbiscuit that whilst the revelations about Boris Johnson's behaviour during the pandemic have possibly sealed his fate of being unelectable ever again, this isn't the case with other Tory politicians who are currently queuing up to appear on GB News to be interviewed about the wonderful relationship they had with the celebrity cat.
'The 'Dead Cat Strategy' has long been known to be an effective tactic to distract attention away from things that politicians don't want voters to know about; or perhaps concentrate their attention on. For example, the terrible opinion poll ratings the Tory party has been getting of late, which the Covid enquiry has been making even worse, isn't something that will do the Tories any favours at the next election. But as we saw from when the Queen died, the distraction of her death allowed the media to report nothing else for a fortnight, even that the party had made the most insane woman in the country Prime Minister.' he said.
'Now try to imagine the scenario where a grieving nation learns that Larry hadn't actually died, but had been catnapped by Russian agents and Evgeny Lebedev gave Rishi Sunak directions to their probable lair where Sunak was able to rescue Larry... Suddenly Sunak would become a national hero and people might forget they'd been calling him Dr Death.'
Professor Clever-Cloggs' insights may sound a little bizarre, but as he explained over a pint of Olde and Filthye, they are no less bizarre than the Tory party's rise to government again after the nation thought it had seen the back of the Tories forever in 1906 and again in 1997.