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Rioter inconsolable after different rioter steals all his bath-bombs


Nigel Evans, 32 from Hull, woke up on Sunday morning, excited for the day ahead.



‘I’d never done a riot before’ He explains ‘so I was buzzing all day. Really excited, you know? So anyway, fast forward to the event. I’d joined in with the guys, setting fire to a few bins, threw stuff at the police – I wasn’t completely comfortable with that bit. The others were throwing bricks, bottles – anything they could find. I still had a Ginster’s pasty from a petrol station we raided so I threw that. I felt terrible because it was still hot. Like lava those things are.’



As the day wore on, shops were ransacked, and libraries burnt to the ground. Then around three hours into the riot, it all went wrong for Mr Evans.



‘I can’t believe it. Everything was going great. We’d stopped off at Greggs for an all-you-can-eat buffet and then stopped off at Lush. I thought "Fantastic – I need some more bath-bombs.” So I got stocked up. I had to grab a bag to carry them all in but I left my 10p for that. Because of the environment tax, you know? Got to save the planet.



‘Anyway, further down the road this guy – Ken his name was – noticed I hadn’t set fire to any bins myself. So he offered to hold onto my bag of bath-bombs while I lit a bin-fire. When I turned around, he’d gone. I was gutted – I was really looking forward to a lovely hot bath and lovely soft skin.’



Mr Evans reported the crime to the police, and was immediately arrested.



‘I’m the victim here. I just wanted a lovely bath. It’s not the same in prison – they only have showers and that soap is impossible to hang on to’



Visiting hours for Mr Evans are to be announced soon.


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