The Chancellor gave her much heralded speech on the economy this week. The speech majored on how to create growth, and it covered airport runways, relocating Silicon Valley to Bedfordshire, digging a new hole under the Thames, buggering up the environment to boost the economy, and so on.
None of these things is expected to fix the economy anytime soon.
A photographer with a powerful zoom lens noticed that Rachel Reeves’ glossy fingernails were decorated with tiny letters that spelled out the word ‘doomed’ and that when she blinked, her eyelids appeared to have the message ‘help me’ written on them. Although when she winks, the message is either ‘help, help, help’ or ‘me, me, me’. So the precise meaning is somewhat unclear.
Media minders and members of the security services whisked the Chancellor away at the end of her speech, with no time for questions about inflation, stagflation, recession, trade tariffs, potholes, dog mess or winter fuel payments. And certainly no time for answers.