For a good many years, the power of love has been regarded as being the gold standard in power: inspiring books, songs and motion pictures. Indeed, in light of the carbon crisis now engulfing the planet, it had been hoped that it might provide an alternative energy stream, possibly something to set alongside wind, wave and solar.
We went to Sighswell C, site of a prospective Lovepower™ generation site, to find out more about this fabled engine driver. Alas, it seems that early results have proved somewhat less than satisfying.
“Initial trials left us quite impressed, because the amount of drive produced was quite potent and it seemed to be about equal for both AC and DC applications,” Prof Iterole, the director of studies informed us, “but then it swiftly tailed off and only came back online sporadically, and for inconsistent durations. Indeed, our latest findings suggest that, despite being widely lauded as this mighty thing, the power of love is in fact substantially less potent than its reputation would lead us to believe.” He sighed and gazed briefly into the middle distance. “We tried channelling it through other mediums and found that the use of diamonds for focus briefly increased the intensity, but that it soon dwindled once more and was then barely sufficient for anything beyond powering basic domestic appliances like vacuum cleaners or kitchen utensils.”
“It is quite powerful, in fact,” Anne Other, another research scientist, told us, looking up from her microscope, “but it’s also desperately short-lived – only generally capable of being exerted for periods ranging from between 47 seconds to just over five minutes. It actually makes the range of electric vehicles look impressive.” She snorted. “Nonetheless, it’s still more impressive than the other heat pumps we’ve been trialling…”