Children in poorer areas of the UK are said to be 'buzzing' for Labour's creation of a taskforce to address child poverty.
Luke Lyle, 7, said 'I can't wait to play Taskforces in the playground with my friends. I imagine it's like Avengers assembling. I am quite hungry though because my parents can't afford lunches every day. If Labour would just abolish the Tory two child benefit cap, then I could have some lunch, rather than waiting until the Taskforce inevitably makes that recommendation anyway.'
'Please sir. Can I have some more?'
'More?!' blustered one Conservative, almost dropping his monocle into his brandy in horror.
'Poor children should be working, cleaning the chimneys in my country retreat. Anyway, you can't just... give poor people money! What if they use it to make better lives for themselves? That would simply never do.'
Picture credit: Wix AI