An ingenious plan to reduce the number of prisoners incarcerated in British jails has been suggested, whereby it would become perfectly legal to steal goods that only wealthy people own.
A minister explained to Newsbiscuit that it costs in the region of £50K per annum to keep the average scroat in prison, but that money has to come from people who actually pay tax, so it's only the poor who pay for prisons.
“There’s no way we can justify keeping people in prison for stealing from the rich when pensioners have to go without their winter fuel allowance. It isn’t as though Britain benefits from the wealthy buying expensive goods, because they’re all manufactured abroad these days.
"It might be a different matter if the wealthy paid tax and could justify why the state should protect their assets, but until they do, it’s more important we keep prison places available to keep right-wing rioters off the streets.
"The Tories won’t be happy about this, but who cares now they are out of power and unlikely to return in the foreseeable future? Naturally it will remain a crime to steal ZIL-4104s or Trabants and Moscovitches, but we don’t anticipate their owners will report such thefts.
"To tell the truth, if it helps deter wankers from buying Range Rovers, that will be a plus too.”
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