Strictly Come Dancing's Pete Wicks has strenuously denied that he’s the evil version of recently canonised fitness guru Joe Wicks.
The TOWIE star was forced to make a statement after the Catholic Church declared that he was the long prophesied “Antiwicks” who will bring about the end of the world if he ever lifts the glitterball trophy.
Although the Vatican stopped short of asking for Wicks to be removed from Strictly, they have demanded that the BBC replace their usual judging panel with a quartet of cardinals, use pre-recorded Gregorian chants instead of Dave Arch’s band and hand over presenting duties to Aled Jones and Daniel O’Donnell.
In an emotional video posted on Instagram, the Essex born reality TV star insisted he is the victim of mistaken identity and that it is actually thesaurus loving douchebag Russell Brand that will be responsible for the end of the world.
Pope Francis was quick to fire back in the comments section arguing that his papal infallibility trumped Wicks’ 17th place finish on Celebrity MasterChef.
BBC Director General Tim Davie is yet to comment on Strictly’s latest controversy. However, it’s believed that he has already commissioned an emergency broadcast - voiced by Brian Blessed - asking any survivors in a post-apocalyptic wasteland to keep calm and carry on paying their TV licence.