To reflect the changing character of Hollywood, the Oscars have introduced a new category solely for pointless sequels of popular films.
To qualify, a film must exist for no reason at all other than a desire to squeeze more money out of an idea that worked the first time. Extra points will be given if the script is so bad, some or all of the original actors refused to be in it.
“Obvious examples would include the recent Matrix film, so bad it even included a coded apology for its own existence, though frankly the first two sequels would also qualify,” said an Academy spokesman today. “Then of course there’s Coming to America 2 - yes, you’d forgotten about that, hadn’t you? But it wasn’t a bad dream, it really happened.
“Then there’s Indiana Jones 4 and 5, the later Rocky films, all the Hannibal Lecter films after Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic World 3, Alien 3 and 4 and that bizarre sequel to The Shining. Star Wars 1, 2 and 3 were technically prequels, but I think we’ll stretch a point for them.
”And though nobody’s seen Gladiator 2 yet, we’re quietly hopeful.”
Asked whether he hadn’t left out lots of other terrible sequels, the spokesman clarified that the category was only for films where the original was great and the studio should have stopped there, not franchises that were awful from the get-go.
“Also excluded are shows that worked on TV but should never have been made into films, like Sex in the City and Downton Abbey. Though at this rate, they might get their own award before long.”