Dear residents of the UK, we like you, we really do. Mostly.
But please stop sending all your batshit crazy residents, your Boris Johnsons, your Liz Trusses and especially your Nigel Farages. We appreciate you haven't sent your Theresa Coffeys, Priti Patels or your Suella Bravermans so far, but before you do, please note we have enough right-wing nut-jobs to fill a football stadium several times over. Believe us, we've achieved that already. Most days of the week.
We don't need any more crazy people, we're full to the brim. In fact, we'd like to offer you a few thousand to replace the ones you've recently exported. Don't worry about overstretching your fabulous NHS - all our crazy people now come with a field dressing attached to the side of their heads, so that should keep your medical costs down.
Regards
The US of A