‘Westminster has no misogyny problem’ snorted one unnamed male Tory MP slapping a passing woman on the arse. ‘As long as the skirts know their place – over my knee for a spanking – those strumpets are more than welcome.’
Angela Rayner meanwhile is set to alter her typical Commons wardrobe, going full Moulin Rouge, with an ornate figure-hugging basque, fishnet stockings and a mask like she’s at a Venetian ball. Taking a riding crop into PMQs, she will purr sultrily 'Who's been a naughty boy then?' A few Tory front benchers might sheepishly raise their hands – taking them out of their pants in the process. However, none would dare stand at the despatch box.
Michael Gove, who had co-incidentally worn an outfit identical to Rayner’s, was seen fleeing back to his office, mascara smudged by tears.
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